Achieving a Secure Functioning Relationship with “Secure Love” by Julie Menanno

Julie Menanno – Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime (Hardcover)

An Introduction to Secure Love

In Secure Love, Julie Menanno offers a beacon of hope for couples navigating the complexities of a relationship. This book guides understanding the underpinnings of a secure functioning relationship, providing readers with the tools and knowledge to create and sustain a bond that can weather any storm.

Menanno’s approach is scientific and compassionate, making this book a must-read for anyone looking to enhance their relationship.

Secure Love – Summary

  1. The Problem Beneath the Problem: Menanno starts by exploring the root causes of relationship issues, emphasizing the importance of understanding deeper underlying problems rather than just addressing symptoms.
  2. Understanding Attachment Theory: This chapter delves into attachment theory, offering readers insights into how their early life experiences shape their relationship dynamics.
  3. Identifying Your Attachment Style: Menanno guides readers through identifying their attachment styles, laying the groundwork for personal and relational growth.
  4. What Is Your Negative Cycle? Here, the focus shifts to recognizing the patterns of interaction that contribute to relationship strife.
  5. Interrupting the Negative Cycle: Provides strategies for couples to break free from damaging cycles of interaction.
  6. Preventing the Negative Cycle: This chapter discusses creating an environment that fosters secure attachment, preventing negative cycles from taking hold.
  7. Reaching and Responding: Highlights the importance of emotional availability and responsiveness in strengthening the bond between partners.
  8. Repairing After a Negative Cycle: Offers guidance on healing and moving forward together after conflicts.
  9. Attachment Injuries and Repair: Menanno addresses how to heal from and move past deep wounds in the relationship.
  10. Workable Intruders: Discusses external factors like mental disorders and trauma and how they impact relationships.
  11. The Sex Factor: Explores the role of sexual intimacy in fostering a secure, loving connection.
  12. When You Aren’t Seeing Results: Provides advice for couples struggling to see progress despite their efforts.
  13. Instead of This, Do This: Offers practical alternatives to common relationship pitfalls.
  14. Conclusion: In the future in the World with Secure Love: Menanno wraps up with encouraging words on continuing the journey toward a secure functioning relationship.

What I liked about Secure Love

Secure Love stands out for its clarity, depth, and practicality. Menanno’s ability to distill complex psychological concepts into actionable advice is remarkable. Her compassionate tone and the emphasis on growth and healing resonated deeply with me.

Why I think you will like this book

If you want to deepen the connection with your partner and navigate your relationship with more understanding and less conflict, “Secure Love” will be an invaluable resource. Menanno’s insights into attachment and practical strategies for improving communication and intimacy will likely transform your relationship.


Secure Love is essential for building a secure, lasting relationship. Its insights are profound, and its advice is practical.

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