Strengthening Your Marriage: Insights from The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work by John Gottman

John M. Gottman – The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: [Format: Hardcover, Paperback, eBook] [Special Features: Illustrated Edition]

An Introduction to The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

John M. Gottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a beacon for couples navigating the complexities of marriage.

Through extensive research and observation, Gottman distills the essence of a lasting and fulfilling partnership into seven actionable principles. This book does not just offer marriage advice and a roadmap to deepen and enrich one’s marital connection, emphasizing understanding, respect, and love.

Readers are invited to explore the inner workings of their relationship, making profound discoveries that pave the way for a stronger bond.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – Summary

Principle 1: Enhance Your Love Map – Gottman emphasizes the importance of truly knowing your partner. This includes their likes, dislikes, worries, and dreams, encouraging couples to update their understanding of each other continually.

Principle 2: Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration – This principle focuses on maintaining a positive perspective of your partner, remembering the qualities that made you fall in love, and expressing appreciation regularly.

Principle 3: Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away – The small moments of everyday life are opportunities for connection. Gottman suggests being mindful of these moments and responding positively to your partner’s bids for attention.

Principle 4: Let Your Partner Influence You – A key to a balanced relationship is sharing power and decision-making, which requires respect, understanding, and consideration of each other’s perspectives.

Principle 5: Solve Your Solvable Problems – Gottman teaches couples how to approach conflicts with a soft start, use repair attempts during arguments, and manage physiological arousal.

Principle 6: Overcome Gridlock – Understanding the underlying dreams and values causing perpetual conflicts can transform them from gridlock into dialogue, fostering mutual respect and empathy.

Principle 7: Create Shared Meaning – Couples are encouraged to build a shared culture that includes rituals, goals, and symbols, enriching their sense of togetherness and purpose.

The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work
The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work

What I Liked About The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Gottman’s book is grounded in empirical research, making it a trustworthy source for marital advice.

The principles are insightful and practical, offering actionable steps that couples can apply daily. The emphasis on understanding, respect, and affection as foundational elements of a strong marriage resonates deeply.

Why I Think You Will Like This Book

If you’re seeking a marriage that thrives on deep understanding, mutual respect, and enduring love, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is for you.

Gottman’s practical, evidence-based approach provides the tools to enhance your relationship meaningfully.


Gottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is an essential guide for anyone looking to strengthen their marital bond. Its practical advice and foundational principles offer a path to a deeper, more fulfilling partnership.

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